


Gossip Girl Rap

by saisei



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Community (TV), Gossip Girl, Orphan Black (TV), The Social Network (2010)
Genre: As its after midnight, Deliberate Bad Fanart, Deliberate Badfic, Multi, Multiple Crossovers, Nonconsensual Rap, Rap, Sorry if you hate rap, Will post art tomorrow, cowritten by youtube, fandom osmosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saisei/pseuds/saisei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troy and Abed rap about Gossip Girl.  Then shit gets real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gossip Girl Rap

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlestpumpkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlestpumpkin/gifts).



> Author's Notes: Okay, I guess I was a little confused while writing this? Because I was sure Dan from Gossip Girl was played by John Hamm and his enormous dick. But apparently not? Like, maybe there was a character on GG who was an enormous dick and I got them mixed up. IDK? LOL. Also, I'm not from the US and TV shows here run about 6 million seasons behind so like, all your prompts were spoilers for me? Like, I wasn't triggered, so that's cool, but I didn't really read them? At all? Because for example I have to wait until 2020 or some shit until the ***SPOILER REVEAL*** in Gossip Girl. So like jsut so you know, it's kind of totally US centric mediaist to assume that the person writing for you is familar with the plots and characters of your requested fandoms, or has access to Netflix. LOL, what even, right? Just so you know! Knowledge is important, and just knowing that, it's like half the battle.
> 
> Legit author note: Recip, I'm assuming you're the nonnie here (http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/130262.html?thread=675516374#cmt675516374) who gave crossover permission for prompted fandoms; if not, mea culpa and I'll orphan this right quick.

>   
>  _Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite_
> 
> I guess you're all wondering what happened after that amazing graduation party? Well, Chuck and Dan and Blair and Serena all got spectacularly drunk, and the CW aired the skinnydipping by moonlight scene, so I'm sure SOME people are feeling p.r.e.t.t.y embarrassed right now. Guess who's got a tattoo? And who thinks that the person they liked slept with that other person for revenge because of that thing about their brother which was actually a big misunderstanding, but it'll probably take a whole season to figure out? Anyway -- the next morning when everyone sobered up, they found out that they'd all transferred permanently to Greendale Community College of New York! And they'd have to go there for two years before getting into Yale.
> 
> _Where has she been?_  
>  _Oh, Serena._  
>  _**And who am I??? That's one secret I'll never tell. You know you love me.. XO XO Gossip Girl.**_  
> 

Yo.  
Yo.  
Yo.  
Yo, rapping coming atcha from GCCNY  
Doing Gossip Girl style X.O. oh my  
That means crossover, nonny, and I got your prompts  
So kick back and relax to this rap attack 

Troy on the mic and I wanna know  
Did Serena really meanta do that thing with Blair?  
And what about Chuck, and that kid what's his name?  
And the money, and the baby, all those lies, like a game  
Bring it on Dan you the masterblaster puppetmaster  
Spreading the gossip like a natural disaster  
Spinmaster faster pussycat's illin'  
Silver spoon white cis male privlege  
Why he gotta be telling secrets like a bitch?  
He got a heart of gold, or he just a stone cold  
Manipulator, determinator knows better than you  
And you and you, and you too, Eric, whoever the heck you are --

Hey hey hey, A.B.E.D. in the house  
X.O.'s my middle name, except not really  
Pop culture is my game and I bet you think that's silly  
Until you screw with the space-time continuum  
Sci Fi, bring it on, I got some  
Clone transfer students who are all kinds of hot  
And an Agent named Carter undercover a lot  
With Professor Jarvis teaching Intro to Lit 101  
Now leaner meaner Serena's packing a gun  
And going after HYDRA in designer couture  
Trying to stop the invading clone takeover  
Gossip Girl's blogging like a force of evil  
Pitting one against another like some Pokemon battle  
Probably some of it's Zuckerman's fault  
(*He's* in your prompts? Like no, default!)  
Over and -- out

Gossip Girl here (Gossip Gurrrrrl)  
You know you love me, bae -- recap!

Pulling strings is my thing, like a social experiment  
Fuck 'em over with my big dick, they be lovin' it  
Whole campus is rocking, here come the one percent  
Looks like Blair Chuck & Jarvis doin extra credit

HYDRA on the dance floor, shit's getting elite  
Little tip: check the roof, I hear it's the bomb  
Alison on his six, Felix servin drinks laced with ecstacy  
(Dubcon, always wrong, strip search, moving on)

Troy and Abed freakazoid with Howard Stark  
Blue wire, red wire, two second, then one  
#cliffhanger #O.M.G. #Serena's plot arc  
(Not to mention the Peggy/Edwin-win situation)

Now a word to every nonnie who thinks this rap isn't true:  
Go back to your meme, cause Gossip Girl's me not you.

X-O, X-O!


End file.
